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Title: Crackers The Cat
Author: onthewindowpane
Rating: G
Pairing: Not exactly a pairing, but it has Ryan and Spencer
Beta: aprettylie
Summary: Ryan and Spencer decide to have a wedding...
Disclaimer: Just like the witch living in my basement. But thw whole marriage idea, was inspired by the kids show "Little Bear" I loved that show so much.... But I won't start on that.
Author Notes: All of the kspeech has spelling mistakes because it's how little kids talk, so it's not really a mistake, just intended. :) Oh and I spelt Spencer as "Spinca" because Ryan says it like a New Zealander, which sounds really funny if you say his name. Also no offence to any kiwi people reading this. :) So you say it like Spin-sa. Yeah :)

Ryan was one of these people that blame things on other people when they mess up, Spencer knew this very well...............


“Hey Spen, let’s play Lil’ Bear!  ‘member the one wif Emil- oh no I never get my “y” sound right – Emilwy and Lil’ Bear when tey get ta rings on ‘ther fingys!

“But we don’t get no rings!”

“Le’s bowwow mama’s!”

“But ain’t you never ‘sposed ta take tem off your fingys? Innit bad luck or somefink?

“Nah silly face! Mama’s got heaps a luck! She not gonna worry if she don’t have it for a wittle while!”

“Okay...I hope we don’ get in twouble...”


Ryan and Spencer creep into his mother’s room, on a mission to find the ring

“Shoosh shhhhhh! Ya feets are too big, Spinca! You gonna get us in twouble!”

“But I’m tip toeing!”


They sneak past her sleeping on the bed, and see her ring on her bedside table.

‘Ah hah! I gotted it!”

“Fingys on lips, Wyan! You’ll wake up da monsta!”

They creep back into the living room and run outside, into the sandpit.

“Now we need my kitty to be da person who holds da rings! Call it, Spinca!”

“Come here Cwackers, Cwackers!!! Where are ya?”

“No i’s name is Crackers! Not Cwakers, are ya a ducky now? Only duckys say quack”

“Nah uh, I said Cwackers!  Cwackers I gots some kitty food for ya!”

“You ain’t sayin’ it right! Tat’s why she not comin’!”

“Stop bein’ mean ta me, Wyan! I aint help it!”

“Fine ten stupid, go find her, since ya can’t talk! Are ya a baby, or somefin’?”

“Wyan! Ah you gonna make me cwy!”

Seconds later Spencer starts to wail

“Ahh you jus’ s-s-s-ss so mean ta-ta me!”

“Stop ya snufflin’! Oh Crackers tere you are!”

The cat runs through the yard and jumps into Ryan’s arms.

“Now, Crackers, you gots ta hold da rings for me and Spinca! We gettin’ married, like Emilwy and Littl’ Bear!”

‘Maybe I don’ wants to mawwy you, no more!’

“Too bad, ya made a com- comm- commitmen’ so get in da line wit me!”

They make Crackers sit on a chair and kneel with their hands out. Ryan has dressed Spencer with one of his mom’s white party dresses. It’s way too big for him and he trips while they walk down the aisle.

“Doo- doo –doo- doo, doo doo-doo doo-, dah dah dah dah, doo doo doo! Spinca sing da song wit me!”

“Wyan, I don’ wanna be da girl! Why ain’t you ta girl? You wook more like ta girl ten me!”

“Nah! You got long hair! Only girlies have dat!”

They finally reach their make shift alter, with Crackers sitting in the chair looking very un-impressed.

Ryan pulls the ring out of his pocket and puts it on Crackers tail.

“Crackers you gots to hold this, an’ give it to me, so I can put it on Spinca’s fingy, okay?”

Crackers obviously doesn’t like this idea, and jumps off the chair making a run for the house, with the ring still on her tail.

“But we ain’t done yet Crackers! Come back ya stupid kitty!”

“Neva call a kitty stupid, it won’ like you no more!”

“Ah shut up Spinca! Get da damn kitty!”

“Oh! You said da ‘d word’! You gonna be in twouble, lo’s an’ lo’s a twouble!”

They run after the cat, but there is no sign of her anywhere! They decide to look over in the neighbour’s yard.

“Okay, Spinca get over ta fence! I’ll lift ya up!”

“No! It’s ta witch’s house! She’ll boil me up an’ eat me if I go in tere!”

“She not a witch, mama told me! She just an old ting! Old tings are always scary!”

“Dat’s a lie!! You know she’s a witch! You told me ya self! Grown ups don’ always know everyting!”

Ryan being the bossy thing he is, gets Spencer over the fence, Spencer wailing the whole time. Ryan realises that the woman who owns the house isn’t home and decides to get Spencer inside.

Spencer edges into the house as quietly as he can. What if the witch comes home on her broomstick, and sneaks into the house while he isn’t looking! He’d be into a pot with pepper and salt before he could even tell Ryan!

“Now where are ya Cwackers? Come here kitty, kitty Cwackers.”

A minute later:

“I’m sorry for da time Ryan and me threw cookies at ya. Tey were yucky, and we needed to practice our throwin’ for ta jellyfishy game! Ya just look a lot like a jellyfishy! So come out an’ I promise I’ll be nice forever! No more, throwin stuff at ya, kay?”

After about a minute of searching like this Spencer is nearly ready to give up.

“Stupid kitty. Cwackers never liked me. Stupid Wyan why he always make me do da bad stuff?”

“Spinca! Gte out of tere! Da witch is comin’  home!”

Ryan runs around outside making siren noises. “Reeee or reeee or reeee!”

Spencer finds his way out of the house, puffing like a puppy. He climbs over the fence, and runs into the house quickly followed by ryan. Ryan soon overtakes Spencer, (Spencer had never been a fast runner) and yells at him to hurry up.

“Hurry up slowpoke! Ya gonna get caught by da witch!”

“I’m twying, I’m  twying!”

They finally make  it into the house, and slam the door shut. Ryan’s mom is awake now, and making cookies.

“Nice to see you boys, did you have a good run?” She goes over to the sink to wash her hands, and stops when thew water runs clear. She mutters a few curses under her breath.

“Boys, have you seen my ring?”

Ryan nudges Spencer putting on his angel act.

“Spencer I tink ya better tell ‘er what happened, it was your idea, after all...”

“No it ain’t been my idea you...”

He gets cut off by Ryan, “I’s okay, Spinca, I’ll tell ‘er for ya. Well mama Spica thought it’d be a good idea to git married wit’ ya ring. So he made me put  it on Crackers, but then Crackers ran away with the ring!”

“Oh God. Well thank you for being honest Ryan, I do appreciate it. But my ring is very special, so never do that again, do you hear me?”

Ryan pulls Spencer outside. He is snuffling into his shirt quietly. He doesn’t like getting in trouble.

“Ya are a bad boy Wyan. Ya lied to ya mama, an’ got me in twouble! It not fair!”

He starts to cry even more.

‘I sorry, Spinca. I jus’ don’t wan’ my mama to get up me. But t’is way you’re mama will never know, and we’ll both be safe! It’s okay, you still my best friend in da whole world.”

Spencer looks up his teary eyes full of suprise. He’s always wanted to be Ryan’s best friend! And now he’s finally told him he is!!!! He stops crying at once.

“My best fwiend? We best fwiends?”

“Yes, silly face! You been my best friend for ever! Ya always will be!”

“Oh tank ya Wyan!!! Tank ya!”

The boys give each toher hugs.

“Ya know what, Wyan? I tink I love ya.”

“Ya love me?”

“Yeah I do! I loves ya wit my whole heart!” Spencer clutches his hand to his chest, looking very proud.

“Well Spinca, I love ya too! You my favourite ting in da whole world!”

“Me too! They dance around in circles, arms linked for a while.

“Hey, Wyan, ya got any o’ dat yummy ice cream we like?”

“Yes! Le’s got an cele-cele, uh, celebwate!!!”

They run into the house hand in hand. Two boys could not be any happier.








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